


Oh, Heck, Daniel's Back

by MotherHecker



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Comedy, Daniel comes back, Daniel is good now?, Explicit Language, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, max is suspicious, reformed daniel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-11 00:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13513332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherHecker/pseuds/MotherHecker
Summary: "David, why the fuck would you bring this bitch back here?"





	1. Boy, Do I Love Exposition

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I work better with short chapters. But that doesn't mean it will be a short story! So far, I don't have an actual ending. It's just a bunch of hooey about what would happen if Daniel came back like so many of us pray to Zemüg he will.
> 
> Oh, also, there's not really any in-your-face Danvid, but it's there. Kind of.

How do you establish settings? Uh, Camp Campbell, beautiful day, Max is a little shit, David isn't, everyone's gay, especially Preston. There. Are you readers all getting comfortable in your Camp Camp worshiping zone? Good.

"Just tell the fucking story."

Fine, nonexistent voice in my head.

 

 

It was another gorgeous day at Camp Campbell, but David was the only one that could appreciate it. No one actually knew where David was though, they had all assembled in the mess hall for breakfast and nobody had been bothered or annoyed by David's unfaltering optimism or nagging to be as good a person as he appears to be.

Max, Nikki and Neil were all sitting at the same table, doing their own respective thing.  
Nikki looked around at the tables, feeling a disturbance in the force. She turned to her friends with a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"Have any of you seen David today?"

"No, I haven't seen him since last night." Neil replied.

"Yeah, it's great, isn't it?" Max responded with a smile.

"It's just weird, because I remember David saying there was gonna be a big surprise today." Nikki explained. Max's smile fell and his face expressed dread.

"Oh no. He's planning on doing something horrible! Ugh, he's probably going to try to teach us a lesson on how to be a better person!"

"Don't you worry, Max. We've been through all this shit before, I'm sure we can handle whatever David throws at us." Neil attempted to reassure him. Alas, Max failed to be assured, and he continued to groan.

"That's what you say, but David keeps thinking of new and creative ways to fuck my Summer over even harder than it has already been fucked."

Nikki's attention was suddenly directed towards the window at the front of the hall. She gaped with shock, some of her food falling out of her mouth.

"Holy crap!"

Neil looked the same direction Nikki did and too found himself astonished.

"Now, that, I was not expecting."

"What? What's the big deal?"

Max demanded before looking out the window as well. What he saw made him want to sprint out of that Summer camp like Sonic the motherfucking hedgehog.

He witnessed David conversing with a man the same height as him. And the same hairstyle. Except it appears to have been bleached blonde. 

"What the FUUUUUUUUCK?!"


	2. A Wild Cultist Has Appeared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?

No. David couldn't possibly have brought him back. He can't be that crazy! No, wait... He's David. Of course he is. Max jumped off of his seat and ran out to the two clones. 

"What in the fresh fuck is that cock sucking glitter-dick doing here?!" Max cursed as he pointed at said cock sucking glitter-dick. 

"I don't even know where to begin with your choice of words." David sighed, clearly tired of Max's shit. And yet, he put on a smile and continued unscathed.

"I have decided to rehire Daniel." 

Max very clearly looked like he was about to spout another series of cuss words before David started speaking again.

"Now, I know what you're gonna say. 'David, why the bleep would you bring this bleep back here?'. To which, I would reply, 'language'. And also, I am not an idiot. I know now that Daniel is evil. But! He has converted from his Zemüg worshipping sect to regular old agnosticism!"

"Well, converted, court mandated, it's all the same really." Daniel added with an involuntary eye twitch.

"No. No. I will NOT allow this! There is no way I'm letting you stay here! My whole situation here sucks enough balls without you constantly trying to murder the entire camp!" Max yelled.

"Gosh darn it, Max, I told you, he's good now!" David tried to explain to him.

"Well, I don't buy it!" Max crossed his arms and glared at the blonde.

"Oh, Max..."

Daniel bent down to Max's level.

"You know, I was just like you once. A troublesome child with little trust for anyone. Although I would never wear THAT." 

Daniel frowned as he pointed to Max's outerwear.

"Blue hoodie. Ugh. You look so much better in a white one..." Daniel leaned closer and stared at the boy sinisterly. He had that sacrificial look in his eyes. 

"DAVID!" Max cried for help. David grabbed Daniel by his forearm and yanked him away from his honorary son.

"Okay, let's back away from the kid there, Mr. Child Stabber." David ordered him in a friendly and joking manner. Daniel pouted as if he was a child being denied candy. Or a cultist being denied ascension.

"I'm... Sorry, David. It's proving hard to adjust." Daniel put on his fake smile, which David saw through instantly.

"Now, Daniel... I know that last time you were here, you put on a façade so we would all like you. Well, I want you to know, you don't have to pretend to be somebody else. Namely me. Just be yourself." David assured him. Daniel relaxed his facial muscles and looked relieved.

"Thank fuck."

David's eyes widened at the swear he never expected to come out of the man's mouth.

"Why am I even surprised at this point?" He said as he realised vulgarity seemed to be a common theme among literally everyone he's ever met.


End file.
